2017 Wrap Up

I can barely believe that today is the last day of 2017. I was telling Eric yesterday that I am feeling so optimistic about 2018. We have so much good coming our way. I'm continuing to get better and less nauseous and sick, Eric is hoping for a raise at his job, we will hopefully be moving to a bigger apartment in the next couple of months and of course best of all our precious next baby comes this year! We get to find out the gender on Tuesday and to say I am excited is a bit of an understatement. I don't remember being this anxious/excited with Levi, probably because I really didn't care much, I didn't have a boy or a girl so I was super excited for either one. This time, because we already have Levi, there's just so much that our family dynamic will be different depending on the gender of this next baby. Do I get to go shopping for adorable baby girl things? Do I get to anticipate Levi having a best friend little brother soon? There's so much good with either option! I know that God knows exactly what He is doing and He will send exactly the right child for our family right now but I have still just been so excited to find out what it is!!

Anyway, it's crazy how the years march on without us doing anything. We can't slow time, or stop it, or speed it up or opt out of its progression. Regardless of what we do or don't do, the Earth still turns, and life moves on. It blows my mind that I graduated from high school over ten years ago. And it is crazy to me that I will soon be the mother to TWO babies. I've been dreaming of a house and making a wish list for it, and we've been planning out how we hope the next few years will go and it feels like we are starting to move into a new phase of our life. Soon to be settled for a while (hopefully) with a house of our own and jobs and kids. No longer brand new to parenthood or the workforce. Raising our kiddos, settling into our stride. It's weird really but also awesome. We have been so blessed. I am especially grateful this year for our loving extended family, our supportive ward family who has been so great at helping out while I was so sick, my sweet son who is learning more every day and surprising me all the time by how bright he is, and most of all for my amazing husband. I definitely could not do this journey through life (and especially pregnancy!) without him.

And now, for the last set of pictures to close out 2017, starting with Eric and my little babymoon to Monterey and then ending up with pictures from my parent's house for Christmas :)

Our first night in Monterey I took this shot and I just love it! It was so beautiful and perfect there. And just after I took this picture we got to see two sea otters playing in the waves and eating. So cute and awesome to see them in the wild like that. 

Eric really wanted to climb up onto these giant white rocks so we did. Turns out they were white because they were COVERED in bird poop. Haha. but it was still a great view of the ocean and there were some sweet tidepools tucked away in between the rocks. 

Perfect sunny weather

We loved getting to go to the aquarium! We spent about 4 hours there and it was awesome. I think one of my favorite things we saw was the cuttle fish. They came right up to me at the glass and were changing color like they were talking to me! So cool! 

 

The jellies are always amazing to see. 

Eric put our initials into the wall of the cliff. He wanted them nice and high up so they would last for a while :)

Levi loved playing grandma's piano. He would turn the pages of the hymnbook, point at a song and then "play" it on the piano. So adorable! 

Someone in my mom's ward gave Levi his own little Christmas tree to decorate. He had more fun taking the bells off the tree and shaking them and running around with them than decorating. 

Levi knew which stocking was his! Probably the toys popping out of the top were a dead give-away haha. 

This face. It sums up his passionate character so well! 

Levi loves his auntie Katie!

We went for a short walk up Canyon trail so I could see the edge of the burn and Levi wimped out of walking pretty quick and got Katie and grandma to carry him the rest of the way. It was so awesome to see all the new green grass that's growing where the burn was and how so many of the trees and shrubs are starting to come back now. 

This picture was a stressful one to get! Dad's camera was being super funky and not doing what I wanted it to and all Levi wanted was to play with the camera and the tripod! And also I look ginormous! But... I am happy we got a good family shot. I sure do love this family of mine! 

Christmas Bells Are Ringing

I love Christmas season. I love the holiday music and the goodies and the focus on the Savior and service. And this year I especially love the holidays because they have been coinciding with me getting better and puking less! At least, they were until last week when Levi came down with a stomach bug and then Eric got it and then I got it despite my panicking efforts to quarantine myself, not touch anyone and desperate prayers for mercy. I literally had an anxiety attack when Eric threw up for the first time. But I suppose it was just in the cards for me to get it anyway. So, I went from throwing up a total of 3 times all week the week before last (woot woot!!) to throwing up 9 times in one day on Wednesday (booo!!). But thankfully it went away relatively quickly although I'm still recovering and definitely not back to the way I was before I got it. It doesn't help that Eric, Levi and I drove through the night Friday night to come down to California. I LOVE being here with my family but turns out my body really, really does not like sleep deprivation while pregnant and responds by puking more. Awesome. But today has been better and I have high hopes that I will continue to improve.

Anyway, back to the whole Christmas thing, I love Christmas. I love surprising people with gifts and I'm excited this year to see Levi be old enough to actually get excited about the presents he is opening. Eric and I got him a play kitchen and my mom got him a shopping cart and fake food. I am so excited about it because I just know he will love it. At playgroup on Friday he had three major meltdowns because there happened to be a play shopping cart there and he was obsessed with it and having some serious difficulties sharing. So while it was embarrassing for me to repeatedly have to calm down my screaming child and talk to him about sharing because some other kid had attempted to touch the shopping cart, it reassures me that this is definitely the right gift for him! And at least he responded with crying rather than hitting or biting. Haha.

So yeah, I'm definitely looking forward to the next two weeks here in sunny California! Eric and I are leaving Levi here at my parents house on Tuesday and driving down to Monterey for a few days. I am sooo excited for some alone time with my hubby in such a beautiful place!! And then back here in Santa Rosa for Christmas and getting to hang out with Eric and Natachia and Katie. It'll be awesome :) And hopefully we remember to take more pictures than we did when we got together at Thanksgiving! Haha.

Here's some photos of life lately:

Levi's best friend right now is Lincoln, who is 4 days older than him. They've gotten to hang out together a few times in the last few weeks and every time Levi gets really excited. He will sometimes ask in the morning "Ni-con's house? Ni-con's house?" Haha its so adorable! 

They are both very much into trains. They say, "choo-choo" and "ding ding" while they make their train cars go around the tracks. 

I helped Levi put his hands in his pockets and it was soo cute! Haha. Also he still loves his dinosaur boots. 

So the other day I was dumping our recycling into the big recycling dumpster at the back of our complex and the noise startled Levi so he yelled and grabbed me and I totally dropped our recycling bin into the dumpster! I couldn't figure out how to get it out so Eric had to come help me the next day. Of course Eric got it out within a couple seconds. Haha. 

Levi loves "driving" the cars at the mall!

Light at the end of the tunnel

I can barely believe it but I'm starting to get quite a bit better! I'm 15 weeks now and according to my lovely little app baby is now the size of a navel orange! Which seems huge to me but at least makes me feel a little better about the fact that I also feel huge! My coworker was like, "Have you made your pregnancy public knowledge yet... because if not, it's probably time." Haha. I mean, I know it's normal to show earlier in subsequent pregnancies than your first but this is blowing my mind.

Anyway, so yeah, the puking and nausea have improved A LOT over the last few weeks! I was able to graduate from the IVs and I've started to drink a little bit of water which tastes sooo good. I still get nauseous at times throughout every day and a few times a week I still have pretty hard evenings, but I am hardly ever throwing up anymore and I'm starting to be able to do things like grocery shop again. It's still surreal to me because I didn't expect it to get this much better, especially this soon, and I have so much fear still that I'm going to relapse but so far so good. I still take my zofran and unisom at night and Eric lets me sleep in which makes a huge difference. I'm not looking to wean off of any of that anytime soon!

We had my family come up and visit for Thanksgiving and it was so nice to have them here. They were only here for a couple of days but we made the most of it. Levi especially loved having so many people around to love on and play with! I'm glad we get to see them again so soon for Christmas.

Speaking of Christmas, since I've been feeling better, I am actually able to get excited about everything to do with the holidays! I made us an advent calendar (well mostly... it's still not done. oops!) and I've been playing Christmas music in the house all the time. We set up our lights (and then set them up again and again and again because they keep falling down) and our nativity and we have been getting our super adorable Christmas cards sent out. I've got about half of my Christmas shopping done and I'm getting pretty excited to head down to California for Christmas, and also for Eric and I to do our little get-away in Monterey!

So things are going pretty well here in the Martino household. I am so grateful for all of the love, prayers and support our family and our ward family have been giving us the past few months. I really feel like I would definitely not be doing this well if it weren't for all the fervent prayers offered on my behalf and I am so grateful for them. And my heart still hurts for all my sisters in my HG support group who are still suffering. I pray for them a lot and hope that they feel as I do, the strengthening support and hope that that brings. 

I haven't taken many pictures on my phone since the last time I posted. I realized after everyone left after Thanksgiving that we didn't get any pictures of any of us together! We will have to do better about that over Christmas! But anyway, here are the pictures I do have:

Levi practicing his selfie game. Those cheeks!!

Levi throwing a little fit at the park because I had to put my real camera away because silly me I drove all the way there and took my camera out only to realize that it didn't have the SD card in it and thus could not take any pictures. Facepalm. 

I took Levi up to free Friday at the Portland Children's Museum again and this was his favorite toy of the night. He pushed the stool over there himself and climbed right up there and started pushing buttons, all the while looking very serious about his work. 

15 week baby bump. If you look close you can just see that stupid umbilical hernia I have. 

PS. Levi is talking a ton these days! Here are some of my favorite things he's been saying:

I got it!

Ta-da!

More babusauce (applesauce) please!

Feel better (while rubbing my shoulder)

Ba-babu (pineapple)

Where bibi (binkie) go?

Coat on! (or shoes on! or boots on!)

And a new word he just learned that I don't love that he now says all the time, "mine!" 

Growing a Human is Hard

It's been such a long time since I've done a blog post. Being really sick brings out your priorities I guess and this is one of the many things that has fallen by the wayside as I have focused on just surviving and getting through each day. It's hard to grow a human. It's hard on my body, hard emotionally, hard on my family. And then I feel bad about feeling like it is hard because so many women have it so much worse than I do! That's something I've been struggling with this pregnancy: not comparing my experience with that of others and instead just letting it be my experience. At the start of this pregnancy, just when it was getting really bad and all I could do all day was lie on the couch and throw up and feel awful, I joined an HG support group on Facebook and that has been a good thing for me. It's inspiring to me to see women support each other through some of the hardest moments of their lives. And it feels good to be able to be that voice of encouragement and support for someone else. It has brought new understanding to me of the phrase "bear one another's burdens." Although my experience is my own and I may not be as sick as someone else, I still feel like going through this has blessed me with a degree of empathy that allows me to be that person who "gets it" for someone else. And it has helped so much to have a group that I can also vent to and share little triumphs with who get it, who respond, and who've been there. It also really helps to have Shannon and Kristie to talk to who also know what it's like to have really hard pregnancies. Kristie was the one who was able to be that listening ear and talk me through one of my hardest days when I felt like I just literally could not do this for 8 more months. And her suggestions were a big help me to and to Eric to know how to help me. Eric has been a rockstar through all of this. He works so hard to take care of me and Levi and all the things. He gets up with Levi every morning so I can try to sleep through some of the worst of the nausea, does all our menu planning, grocery shopping and dinners. He makes Levi's lunch and puts together his snacks in the morning before he leaves for work so I don't have to think about what I'm going to feed him (thinking of food is a trigger for me). And he just supports and loves me. He is so patient with the fact that evenings are so bad and all I can do is lie on the couch. And he advocates for me and encourages me to advocate for myself. He's the one who tells me time and again that I'm not failing at being a mother and that it's not a sign of weakness that I have to take Zofran (and other drugs) to make it through the day. I am so grateful for him and the unconditional love he shows me.

With all that said, I am starting to gradually get a little bit better. And I'm finally letting myself hope that this pregnancy, unlike the last one, the nausea and the vomiting may actually go away before baby is born. I still have some pretty intense food aversions and I still deal with significant nausea for good portions of every day and I still am incredibly fatigued, but the vomiting has shown a slow but steady decline over the last few weeks. Maybe it's because I fought hard at the beginning to get zofran right away and I have stuck to a schedule with it. Maybe it's because my awesome midwife has let me get IV hydration and meds at least once a week for the past 5 weeks. Maybe it's because I am taking it easier than last pregnancy and letting myself let everything go and just rest more (much to Levi's chagrin). Or maybe it's just that my body is getting a little bit better at this whole growing a person thing. I don't know. But the fact that I have already had days where I've been able to go the whole day without throwing up means I am already way better than I was at this point in pregnancy last time. So that makes me hope.

Usually fall is my very favorite time of the year but this year, it's been hard. And it is hard for me to see the beautiful colors outside and know that I'm missing out on things I would normally be doing with Levi this time of year. I have to remind myself that he won't remember any of this and that in the end, a sibling for him is a much bigger gift to him than anything we may be missing out on doing together now. But we have really made an effort when I am up for it and done some things as a family to enjoy the season anyway. We took Levi to an alpaca farm one Saturday. We went to an apple festival. We went to the ward Halloween party (Levi dressed up as a very cute dinosaur, Eric as wolverine and me as a functioning human haha). And this weekend, Eric and Levi and I went up to Anderson Island again. We got to have dinner with Anne, Manbir and Simon which was wonderful and then took the ferry out to the island and stayed the night in the same place we did last year. It is just so beautiful and peaceful there, I love it! And I actually felt pretty good almost the whole time we were there! I am so grateful we got to have that little escape, even though Levi did pour soy sauce and dump sugar all over the kitchen floor at one point!

Anyway, that's how our life has been lately. I haven't posted in forever so I have about a million pictures. So I will weed through them and try to post just the best ones. So here you go!

Levi was definitely unsure what to think of the alpacas! But they were super cute and soft and curious about us!

Typical shot of my bedside table this pregnancy: drugs, crackers, water alternatives (because water = evil), seabands (before I gave up on them as useless) and my scriptures. Sometimes when I feel just so so horrible, I just close my eyes and try to picture my spirit free of my body and in a place with Christ. It helps. 

I absolutely LOVE Levi's face in this picture. In case you can't tell, he's about to throw a bean bag. He has actually gotten really good at throwing! 

Levi loves cookies! Over the last month or so his vocabulary has grown significantly and a lot of his new words revolve around food: "cookie," "treat," "bite" and "sip." He also has started to combine words a lot more. He runs up to me whenever I am eating something and goes "bite, please!" 

The boy loves cheese!

Some days (usually in a small good-ish window of the afternoon before the 5pm downward spiral starts) Levi and I actually make it to the park. He always LOVES it and cries sometimes when I make him leave. 

For Levi, yogurt is a full-body sensory experience!

My mom came up in October and we went to the giant pumpkin regatta. Even though it was POURING rain and we got completely soaked it was fun to watch people try to kayak in giant, hollowed out pumpkins! It looked incredibly difficult to do but also hilarious. Levi however, was not so amused. 

Sometimes Levi pulls out the yoga mats, says "piyo!" and then proceeds to do squats or this. Haha. I miss piyo. I miss so much working out and eating healthy and just feeling healthy. I try to tell myself this is temporary, but I still miss it. 

Levi and I have spent a lot of time cuddling on the couch and watching things lately. I used to be totally against screen time. Then I got pregnant and now it's like, "hey we do what we have to to get through each day."

Levi loves to puddle jump so we finally got him some rainboots! He is obsessed with them and regularly chooses to wear them even in situations where he definitely doesn't need them. Haha. 

Oh hi Mom. 

Levi got roseola last weekend and it was so sad! He had such a high fever and didn't want to do anything but sit/lie on the couch, eat cheese, drink juice and watch Elmo. 

Levi loved trying on adult sized rainboots at Anne and Manbir's house!

Sunset in Steilacoom, WA

And sunrise on Anderson Island, WA

Levi is going to be such a great big brother! He has named the new baby "Car" and gives him/her lots of kisses already. He will come up to me and say "hi Car" and lay his head on my tummy. It's adorable.