I am so blessed to have my children. It's Mother's Day so I've been thinking about that a lot. Eric and Levi (and Emery) have been spoiling me so much already today! They let me sleep in, made me an amazing breakfast (waffles plus a flight of overnight oats samplers!) and brought it to me in bed!
Anyway, but yes, motherhood. I definitely have my moments, more often than I would like, where I feel like I am just not cut out for this task. Moments where I wonder how anyone can find joy in this journey. Moments where I feel like I am failing and wonder if I should just give up and start working full time. Parenting babies is challenging. Parenting Levi is especially challenging for me. I love the concept of his constant curiosity but not so much it's execution- asking me questions literally constantly every waking moment. I love his energy and I know it can lead him to lifelong healthy habits but I don't love it so much when he is climbing all over me, jumping off the coffee table, and running like a madman through the house knocking over anything and everything(one) that comes in his path. I love his desire to help- except when I'm in a hurry and want to just get the simple task of pouring his milk into his cereal done with. I love his passion and know it will take him far in life but it's hard when he is passionately disagreeing with whatever the current plan is- leaving the house, doing quiet time, cleaning up, etc. I know that time will soften the memories of this period of my life, which is part of why I write this blog. I want to remember the depth of this experience but it is impossible to capture. But I know that even if I don't remember necessarily the details or even how it felt, these experiences, this life, is shaping and changing me, hopefully for the better. It definitely brings to light my weaknesses. Sometimes I hate that Viking ancestry in me that makes my blood boil and my ears ring and my temper to fly off the handle. I have definitely developed greater empathy for parents who yell or hit. We all have weaknesses and some of us struggle more than others to stay in control. But I pray all the time and I know God is helping me. And I hope I'm getting better. Getting better at taking a step back, of letting go of my timetable or my need for neatness or control in a situation. Getting better at stopping, taking a deep breath and allowing Levi and myself time to regroup. Does it really matter if we're late to storytime or miss it altogether? Does it really matter that much if Levi dumps water all over the floor instead of washing his hands? Is it that big of a deal that... etc etc etc. And when I'm in the thick of it, it's hard to find the joy. When Emery is crying and fighting a nap or Levi is contradicting everything that comes out of my mouth. But other times, life is so sweet. I love seeing my kids learning and growing- Emery figuring out how to stand up from the floor all on her own and keep her balance for a second or two and the proud look on her face when she does so, or learning how to wave or giving goodnight kisses. Levi making connections in his mind and remembering things I didn't even know he had learned (like the other day someone asked him what letter "e" was and he said "for Emery!"). I love their sweet smiles for me and their constant forgiveness of my weaknesses and their snuggles. I love Levi's hugs for Emery and the way she always wants to be with him. I love when Levi gasps and says "You're so pretty Mommy!" when I come out of my room ready for date night with Eric. Being mother to Levi and Emery is such an intrinsic part of my being and I wouldn't have it any other way. And I am so grateful to my mother for not only teaching me how to be a mom but continuing to be there for me anytime. She calms my crazy, pulls me back from the cliff of catastrophizing I do, reassures me, and just loves me. On this Mother's Day, I just think how great it is to celebrate being a mother and celebrate all the women who have helped me become the woman I am today.
Anyway, a lot has been going on in our life since I last posted! I will use the pictures I took to help guide me back in time over the last month and remember everything but what with my birthday, Easter, Earth day, and Anne and Manbir's wedding, I can say it definitely involved a lot of celebrating!!
First of all, my birthday. I actually don't have any pictures of this day which is totally ok because day of was honestly, kind of, lame. I worked, and then got a call right before I was heading home that Levi had thrown up at daycare. So poor Levi spent the evening puking and I spent the evening running to the store for Pedialyte and saltines and trying to avoid getting triggered and thinking about all my awful HG memories. But, Eric and I celebrated on the Friday after my birthday and it was really nice. We went out to Portland City Grill which is on like the 30th floor of a skyscraper in downtown Portland with both amazing views and really good food. My macadamia nut crusted chicken was delightful.
Then, that Sunday was Easter! Thankfully the weather was BEAUTIFUL so we took the kids to Atfalati park and had our own little Easter Egg hunt. Emery was just old enough to start getting the idea of putting the eggs in the bucket and Levi had a lot of fun searching the grass and bushes for his eggs.
Then afterwards, we all had fun just playing at the park. Emery loved going down the slide on Daddy's lap.
So that was Easter, then the other big thing that happened in the last few weeks was Anne and Manbir's wedding. This was a big affair! We drove up to Washington Friday afternoon for some pre-wedding festivities at the Airbnb that the Demartini's were renting. It was right on the lake and so beautiful and peaceful!
Then the kids and Eric and I stayed at our own Airbnb in Olympia Friday night and then wedding day started bright and early at 7:45 am! We all met at the DeMartini's Airbnb first and when we got there I knew it would be a while before we left because Anne was still getting her hair done (she looked AMAZING!) But yes, the day involved a lot of waiting. We waited to go to the Gurdwara, then we waited at the Gurdwara for a very long time for Manbir's family to show up. Manbir and his family are Sikh so the wedding was full-blown Sikh with lots of traditions. First of all, the bride's family welcomed the groom's family one-by-one with leis. The mother of the bride gave one to the mother of the groom then the mother's brother to the groom's mother's brother, etc, etc. Then we all had appetizers (Milni tea) which were delicious! Emery loved them. Then was the actual ceremony in the Gurdwara. Everyone had to cover their heads in the Gurdwara including the babies! Levi looked like a little pirate in his! And I tied a way too big scarf on Emmie's head which honestly just got in the way a lot. But the wedding was very interesting even though the whole thing was in Punjabi so I didn't actually understand any of it. And I had to take Emery out halfway through because she was being noisy and kept trying to pull people's scarves off! So she and I spent a lot of the ceremony just outside where Emery climbed the same set of five steps approximately a million times. Haha. Then after the ceremony, we had a big lunch which I took for us to go because by that time both kids were very much done.
Levi the pirate!
Anne was so pretty in her whole bridal get up and had some amazing henna on her hands and feet. She said it took the henna artist 8 hours to do it all!
We went back to the Airbnb and Emery and I took a nap together while Eric tried to nap and Levi watched a show and refused to nap (even though he had woken up at 4:30 am!). Then in the afternoon, we went up to Steilacoom for the reception. They weren't ready yet when we got there so we went to a park for a while.
The reception was a lot of fun! There was amazing food and they had some really cool Punjabi dancers come and perform and we got to dance too. Levi was so adorable dancing in the middle of the circle with his hands over his head! And it was nice to get to talk to the Demartinis and catch up with them. We didn't leave till after nine and then had our 2.5 hour drive back down to Tualatin. Thankfully the kids slept in the car and I got to listen to my audiobook (Before We Were Yours- highly recommend it!)
So yeah, that was the wedding! Then, this weekend, Levi and I went and participated in our ward service project cleaning up Winona cemetary and then had a little mommy and me lunch date with Mick-Mcdonalds (McDonalds) in the park.
Levi has gotten braver about climbing which is really fun. He told me he was a scary spider!
Emery "helping" Eric with his job hunt while Levi and I were at the park. I can't believe how soon we are moving and will need new jobs!!
And then last night was our friend Liam's 4th birthday! Levi wanted to get him a beach ball so we got him a beach ball plus some bubbles and a slip and slide! I figured some nice fun summer games since the weather has finally gotten nice and hot! I was sooo happy to bust out the kids and my summer clothes at last! Anyway, but we got to eat pizza in the park with friends and it was just a really nice evening.
So yeah, that's what's been happening! Here are some more photos of Levi and Emery Shenanigans!
Lately, Levi has gotten into the habit of stealing food or treats while I put Emery down for her morning nap. I have hidden all the treats or put them out of reach now though so on Friday he just managed to get the giant tub of brown sugar down and he was eating handfuls of that! What am I going to do with this boy?!
Emery trying on Levi's bike helmet.
I took the kids down to Salem gymnastic's Center for free-play time the other Friday and it was wonderful. It was a long drive but worth it. Levi and Emery both loved it and then we got some lunch down there and took it to a park and ate it there and enjoyed the sunshine. I'm so happy the sun is back!
Levi colored his legs during "quiet time" the other day. At least he didn't rip up any more books!
Speaking of coloring, Emery has been very into drawing on the magna doodle lately! She LOVES it and will play with it for a long time.
Levi with his tower creation!
The kids and I usually go to storytime every Monday at the library which they both love. Then afterwards we pick out new books! This was after that two weeks ago, I put them in the car and handed them books and they were so cute both "reading" them.
Levi with his friend Lincoln playing with jello!
Emery has learned how to drink from straw cups and she loves it
Emery's hair is long enough for pigtails now! It's so cute I can barely handle it!
She also has started trying to comb her own hair with the comb! I couldn't catch a picture of her doing it though.
These cuties and I have been loving the summery weather and spending lots of time at the park!
I told Emery to give Levi a hug and this is what she did. Heart melt.
