Wow, I can't believe that it been over a month since I wrote a blog post. I kept meaning to but it's been a bit of a busy month. First, there was Katie and Kendall's wedding which was beautiful and wonderful and perfect (pictures from that to go on a different blog post which I am not going to write tonight haha)! Then it was General Conference (which was exactly what I needed to hear and sooo refreshing after the agonizing experience of watching the first presidential "debate" the previous Wednesday), then one Sunday I was busy all day doing my TMR TOTs course (which was very cool, very applicable and I'm excited to see how it works for my babies with torticollis! I'm already trying it with three of my kiddos and they all are seeing modest but good results with it so far!) and then the last two weeks I have been doing an emotional resiliency class through church for an hour on Sunday afternoons. I REALLY like the class. Time seems to fly by and I wish we had longer to talk about each subject. And I really like the format. It pairs gospel teachings with sound mental health knowledge and practices of the day and I like that it includes having an accountability partner and commitments we agree to each week. I feel like I would love to do the whole class again because each week I feel like I would like to delve even deeper into each topic and practice them in my life. I haven't been the best at keeping my commitments yet but I have been trying to do one of them pretty consistently which is writing down one unique thing each day that I am grateful for. I feel like that has been helpful for me. A couple of weeks ago, Katie texted and asked me what small, day-to-day things in life make me happy, and I couldn't hardly think of anything! And that made me a little sad and made me really think about myself and where I am emotionally. So writing down my grateful things has been a little helpful in helping me to realize that there are little good things each day and that these little things do bring me joy. I don't spend much time being bubbly happy. But I do feel satisfaction, pride in my children/patients/my accomplishments, and contentment with things. I don't laugh super often but I do smile at my children when they're funny or sometimes when Eric and I are hanging out together and our conversation turns ridiculous. I feel like maybe sometimes I put undue pressure on myself or just wonder "Am I happy enough?" "Am I supposed to be feeling more warm, carefree, peace and joy?" "Does my lack of exuberance or excitement mean I'm depressed?" "Are my emotions being dampened by some sort of hormonal imbalance or something?" "Or is this all just because I am an adult raising small children during troubling times and coping with the stresses of my many responsibilities?" I realize that I have nothing to gauge my own life or emotions against. With a lack of close friends in my stage of life, I don't have a lot of other mothers I can chat with about personal things. I still long for that but am not sure how to foster such relationships at this time. Especially as the weather is turning colder and rainier and COVID still limiting indoor activities, the last two playdates I've had planned with other mamas have both had to be canceled due to the weather. And I find myself reading about other people's fictional friendships in the novels I like while wishing I had some like theirs of my own.
Anyway, the election is growing nearer and nearer and I feel like the weight of it is pressing down so much. I just can't wait for it all to be over! I took several hours the other night researching which judges to vote for. I feel like most people don't and many people just vote down party lines but I feel like that is not a good way to judge a judge. They're supposed to be impartial and their personal political party theoretically shouldn't matter. So I looked at their peer reviews from the Houston Bar Association and the Dallas Bar Association and read articles. And putting together all those things I feel like I've been able to decipher who I feel will best align with my values. One of the articles I read this morning really showed me that I and the people of Texas have a chance right now to stand up to systemic racism and really do something about the BLM movement. One of the judges up for reelection to the Texas Court of Appeals has done things that are inherently wrong and racist. We have the opportunity now to vote him out and put a more fair judge in his place. But the incumbent is republican and I fear he will win in spite of everything just because most people don't even know anything about him and just vote for his because he has those three little letters (Rep) next to his name on the ballot. I posted about it on Facebook (I had stepped away for a while but unfortunately I have backslid and am battling the habit again) and presented the evidence and pleaded with my TX friends not to vote for him. But my post got remarkably ignored. I only had three likes (all from out of state friends). Which is disheartening. Especially considering that if I post about our house projects, I get 50+ likes and comments. People seem to care more about what my half bath looks like than about standing up for justice. Which is sad and frustrating. But maybe it is just the Facebook algorithms? I know people don't want to get involved in political discussions online and I totally get that, but this year, for me, it's not politics. We're talking about basic human rights and decency. No political party should be ok with the fact that black men are 7 times more likely to be wrongfully convicted than white men. Or that they take 3 years longer on average to be exonerated (when they are)! So I will cast my vote and pray but I do so with a heavy heart that things are not going to change. The Sacrament meeting talks today were about hope, but I find it hard to be hopeful about society and the world right now.
So yeah, when I haven't been thinking about politics and social justice and taking continuing education courses and emotional resiliency classes, our family has been keeping pretty busy with other things. We finished our half bath and our laundry room is 90% done being decorated. Papi and I built a shelf yesterday for our soundbar in our living room so that Eric and I can finally ditch that old ikea entertainment center that takes up a bunch of space unnecessarily.
When I was installing the faucet (the final piece of this bathroom reno), I was struggling with some of the nuts being on very tight. Emery was with me and saw me struggling and she was like "Only Papi. Wait Papi." Haha! Apparently, she thought I should wait for Papi to come and help me with it. It was so cute! But I did manage to get the troublesome nuts loosened all by myself. I did the faucet and Eric did the drain and it all went much smoother than the ones in our bathroom did! Guess we've learned a few things.
We went to the ward trunk or treat on Friday and the kids had a blast while I froze in the 48 deg weather handing out candy to littles in adorable costumes.
Cutest little ladybug ever!
And a very handsome pirate king as well :)
They barely made it in the door before they were diving into their candy!
Eric and I took the kids to a pumpkin patch on Friday and Emery and Levi both LOVED the bounce house slides and obstacle courses and Emery had a lot of fun riding the ponies too and didn't want to get off when the ride was over. We picked out pumpkins to carve this week and we have some friends we plan to trick or treat with on Halloween.
Not the best picture of the kids but hey at least they're hugging each other! Haha
Activity days is also going well and keeping me busy now that we are back to having two activities a month. We have a few new girls in our ward since COVID and it makes me glad to see them interacting with the other girls and getting to know them. I want our girls to develop strong friendships with each other because I know personally how important that is when you are a teenager trying to live the gospel in a world where you are in the distinct minority.
Oh! Also, I can't believe I didn't think to write about this till the end but we officially started potty training Emery! It's been a week and a day now and it's going all right. Last Sunday was our worst day and she still only had 6 accidents which isn't nearly as bad as we had it with Levi when we first started potty training him. And by now she usually only has one pee accident a day. Unfortunately, she has still not yet pooped on the potty. Poor girl's bowels kind of freaked out about the whole potty training thing and she held in all her poop for 5 days! So then, of course, she had a blowout. But since the holding of the poop got her constipated I started giving her prunes and now she is pooping multiple times a day but never in the potty. Yesterday she pooped in the bath. Twice. It was soo gross!! And the worst part is that the kids were taking a bubble bath so all the bubble foam totally covered it up and I had no idea she had done it till I went to wash Levi's hair and noticed that the water was a weird color. I had been letting them play for a while so who knows how long they were playing in poop water?? EWWWW! But thankfully my saint of a husband cleaned the tub for me while I washed the kids thoroughly all over again in the guest bathtub. Anyway, so I read a bunch of blog posts and I've got a few ideas I'm going to try to help her start pooping on the potty. Hopefully, it happens sooner rather than later!
